Burp Squat

Being forced to hold back burps while doing squats

What You Need

• Carbonated drink

Method

In this training task, you will perform the art of holding back burps.

Prepare your favorite carbonated drink. It can be flavored or unflavored, but a strongly carbonated one is preferable.
Buy a 500ml bottle.
Get ready by standing naked or wearing a suitable masochistic outfit.

Bow to your imaginary audience, then quickly drink half of the carbonated beverage at once.
Close the cap once to prevent the remaining carbonation from escaping, then stand with your legs slightly apart and place both hands behind your head.

Hold back your burps while doing squats in this position.

During the squats, keep your mouth open vertically to make any burp that escapes appear more vulgar.
The audience would normally count the squats, but for this training task, count them yourself.

If you burp:
Prostrate yourself and say, "I apologize for the unseemly display,"
Then declare, "Next time I will endure for more than X repetitions," promising to exceed your current count, before drinking the remaining half and repeating the exercise.

From my prior testing, half a bottle seems to be the right amount, but if the carbonation is too strong and causes burps too quickly, or if no burps come at all, you may adjust the amount you drink.

Points to Note

This is a training task that provides no pleasure, purely designed to soil your dignity and make you an object of ridicule.
Imagine that the audience is betting on how many squats you can endure.
Try to predict how many squats you might be able to do.

As you imagine the applause, laughter, contemptuous looks, scolding, and jeers when you burp, do your best to produce burps that are as loud and vulgar as possible.